Saturday, December 19, 2009


Drawing in my eyebrows really helps the end of treatment look. It's hard to be looked at like I have cancer all the time...lots of advancements coming our way so hopefully the next generation won't have all these yucky side effects.
Goodness...only one more treatment and it won't be done January 1st as planned...that would be a yucky reminder. I'll have a five day break where hopefully I am feeling good for the beginning of the year. I'll be interested to see how I feel with the last's been such a long road.

Friday, December 11, 2009

my walks

Finally seeing the light after last Friday's treatment. Try to take walks around my neighborhood and this helps with the cabin fever and some of the nausea. I've been thinking about what I'm going to go back to after I'm done with the chemo and I'm most excited to go back to just how my life was....doing all those little things like cooking dinner and playing with Ian. So basic, it really has surprised me what matters most to me. I used to be so worried about finding a new career or doing something that I thought would impact the world a little more. Turns out, I had it pretty good and I just know it now. Thank goodness for the little things.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Yerba Mate

In Argentina, there's a great tradition of passing around a "bomba" of mate to your close friend or family member. Just sipping through the metal pipe, having conversation, passing it back to your server for more. For some reason the caffeine-effects are not the same as while chugging a venti-size on a playground keeping one eye on Ian and the other on my cold neck. Having no hair makes me feel like a helpless seal in the cold. I am still up, having had a blissfully good feeling day even through some of Ian's emotional rants: "I don't want to go hoooome. I want to go home! Help me! Help me, my head is stuck! I don't want a sweater- said I don't want one!. I want a sweaeter on, I'm coooooold." All the while chugging my tea. Now I'm up thinking about starting the CD compilation exchange group thing Christina set up. When I'm feeling goo, the list of things to get done before "I"m down" seems to grow. Stuff like, get Ian bigger sized underwear sounds like a funny priority, but needed!
Wrote a few songs down and will try to share later. Embarrassingly have to figure out how to burn a cd first.

Merry Scary Christmas

L'annee sans lumiere

Woke up to this song last week (Arcade Fire) and I thought "how fitting". The closer it it gets to the end the year, the better for this household. Ian's really wanting me to grow my hair back....his level of stress about it gets worse after some time away. I tell him it'll be back by the time he's four. And that's what he EVERYONE: the checkout guy to the random parent at school. I need my own superhero costume to hide inside, what do you think?
These last three treatments are promising to be an, um, challenge. Thank goodness for you, K.

As a Christmas aside, my Mom began the holiday season by gifting Ian a four foot tall, realisitic-looking Santa to put in his room. Pics soon. Sufficed to say, it did not make it to his room and she was a little huffy that it was in the trunk of the car over the weekend. Where it may return.....